Singaporeans have always been known to be kiasu, among many other things (if you’re not sure what kiasu means, look it up on the internet. It’s even recognised as an official word in the Oxford English Dictionary). We, the citizens of Singapore, are famed far and wide for this notorious trait — as people who are ‘scared to lose’. Whether it be queues, freebies, or buffet lunches, the Ugly Singaporean has done it all. The Ugly Singaporean transcends gender, age, race or religion. Despite being a clean and green first-world country with advanced technological infrastructures and a well educated society, the Ugly Singaporeans remain — these are figures etched firm in our society.

But never mind the aforementioned list of ugly actions. A more specific area we’re dealing with is The Ugly Singaporean and public transport. (It’s sad because if I owned a car, there wouldn’t be any of these issues to begin with. Then again hitting the roads call for a different set of Ugly Singaporeans to deal with altogether.) So here’s a neat list of Ugly Singaporeans in Public Transport. I’m not sure if I’ve missed anything out, but this should well cover the general aspects of these folks.

In order from least annoying to most annoying behaviour:

1.       The Pole-leaners

Self-explanatory. These people lean on the poles found mostly on MRTs, depriving every other person near it from getting a grip. The worse of the lot in this category are the ones who lean even when they see people holding on to the pole. Meaning, yes, they lean on your hand. I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing a sweaty back leaning on the back of my hand before.

2.       The Selfish Bag Carriers

Of course, these people don’t actually pay for a ticket for their bags/plastic bags. They behave like they do though. And so, very conveniently they put their baggage on the seat next to them, as if it were a live being. Even if their bags are small, they’ll somehow find a way to fully utilise the area of the seat.

3.       The Oblivious/Sleepers

The Oblivious refers to a specific group of people who seem to lose track of their surroundings and become totally oblivious when the old/pregnant/disabled get on board. They tend to look everywhere else but in the direction of the old lady/man, or enter into a state of deep thought. The Sleepers, on the other hand, fall into an immediate slumber the moment one of the above steps on. They only come round when ‘the coast is clear’. Note: this group of people usually take up the aisle seats.

4.       The Interceptors

Interceptors do what they do best: they intercept. They display this skill best — not in queues, mind you — but in flagging down cabs. They strategically position themselves before the preceding cab-flagger along the roadside — and snatch the cab like a waiting predator when the opportunity arises.

5.       The Walking Jukebox

Essentially, these are generous people who enjoy sharing their music with the rest of the world. It’s a shame though, because it so happens that these Walking Jukeboxes often play bad or seriously outdated music (we’re not talking about classics here). And so happily, they blast their cool-as-hell music on maximum volume without a care in the world, as if everyone else around them is either deaf or non-existent. Come to think about it, perhaps some of them just can’t afford a pair of earphones. Strange, I was under the impression that Singapore had a decent number of charitable organisations.

6.       The-I-can’t-care-less Folks

The bane of public transport. These are the folks (who’ve already boarded) who simply don’t give a hoot about people trying to get on the bus/train. Of course, they would be the ones standing. Comfortably they stand, rooted in their cozy spot and not budging an inch even if there’s plenty of space further in. Their mentality is “Hey, I’m on the bus/train already. Who cares if those people out there can’t board? Too bad for them. I ain’t moving that’s for sure.”  Somebody please hand me a sharp object.

7.       The-I-must-get-on-or-die-trying Fighters

We’ve reached level 7 maximum security and come to the top of the charts to reach my number one pet peeve; the Grand-daddy of all Ugly Singaporeans in public transport. These, are the undisputed champion breed that have emerged as a terribly disturbing force over the years. It’s especially prevalent only on MRTs and LRTs (thankfully so because buses have specific exits and entrances); you can catch a sight of them every day. Before people can even step off, these Fighters storm in like a rampant force with destructive capabilities, pushing and shoving everyone else in their way. These people like to be in the frontline, and there they stand ground, firmly rooted until the doors open. The words “Please give way to alighting passengers before boarding” seem to have no effect on them. Perhaps this lot can’t understand English or have difficulty hearing. I’ve even seen people miss their stop because they were unfortunate enough to meet a group of deadly Fighters. Granted, some of them might be rushing for time, but hey, does being poor give you the right to steal? Does having a full bladder give you the right to pee anywhere? Maybe these people might die if they miss the train and that’s why they’re trying so hard. Yes, that would explain it.

Bear in mind all these are fairly general classes, Ugly Singaporeans in Public transportation come in all forms and variations. Some can even be hybrids; for example, I’ve witnessed Pole-leaning Walking Jukeboxes before (lean on pole + blast cool music). They are highly adaptable and are constantly evolving.

Okay, that was all tongue-in-cheek, so do take it with a pinch of salt. Sarcasm aside, it truly is saddening to see people in our society steep to such lows all for something so petty. Yes, you may argue that every country has its fair share of such people, but I disagree, because it seems to me that Singapore might just be outdoing its neighbours in this aspect.

On another hand, I do know it’s something that can never be curbed entirely — it’s just like trying to make Singapore crime-free (even though our crime rates are already pretty low). But if everyone bothered to be just a little more gracious, a little more conscious, a little more thoughtful — wouldn’t that make things better? After all, we do spend a fair bit of our lives travelling, and the last thing we really need is to arrive at our destinations angry because of some selfish gits. It’s a relief to not that most of these offenders are generally older adults (not stereotyping, I’m sure you know), even though there are younger ones just as inconsiderate (Walking Jukeboxes and Selfish Bag-Carriers). That said, as long as the next generation (us) do not follow in their footsteps, who knows — the Ugly Singaporean in Public Transport might just fade away quietly. We’re already up there with the big boys in many aspects – so please - don’t let the Ugly Singaporean tarnish that.

Average user rating

   (0 vote)

Display 9 of 9 comments