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Four highlights from the National Day Rally 2017

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OpinionsNews

PM Lee outlines plans to make Singapore more productive...in more ways than one.

You know things have gone awry when a 65-year-old is telling you to have sex.

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong delivered the National Day Rally (NDR) on Sunday, Aug 20, covering topics ranging from combating diabetes to making babies. Since most of you were probably too busy having a life, I took one for the team and sat through the entire speech.

Here are four highlights from the NDR 2017.

1. Have sex. Have sex. Have sex

Remember the awkward "love-making dance" force fed to us during the National Day Parade? I wish I could unsee it too, but judging from the not-so-subtle hints for Singaporeans to have babies that peppered the NDR, it seems that sex and procreation is now a national agenda and is here to stay for the foreseeable future. 

It remains to be seen if Singaporeans can pull off a Danish clutch, but at least the government has done their part, with plans to introduce an additional 40,000 places in pre-schools within the next five years. The fate of our future now rests in our pants hands.

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We will never forget #NDP2017 when they featured a segment on "the birds and the bees" on national television.
PHOTO CREDIT: MEDIA A

2. This is how Skynet rises

Remember the Terminator movies where the artificial intelligence Skynet became sentient and revolts against humanity?

Yeah, that may soon become reality. 

Authorities have already been installing more CCTV cameras in public spaces from MRT stations to HDB void decks, and will now be rolling out smart lamp-posts that can detect rainfall, noise, traffic conditions and temperature. PM Lee also talked about using artificial intelligence to automatically detect something suspicious. 

This made me wonder how being under constant surveillance would impact society? And also…what if these systems end up as reliable as our "advanced" train system?

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It's all fun and games until the machines turn their backs on us!
PHOTO CREDIT: CHEEZBURGER.COM

3. Singaporean babies should start studying mother tongue at 8 months

As if we are not already on top of our paper chase, PM Lee emphasised the importance of our education to begin way earlier than Primary 1. 

He said: "It's best if they hear the language sounds as infants before they're eight months old." 

I guess that explains why my mother tongue is garbage (I'm looking at you, mum and dad). 

But it also made me wonder…if parental influence is so important in the formative years, why are we sending children to pre-school, instead of sending parents home from work earlier?

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I mean, 8 months?! How to pon school when you don't know how to walk?
PHOTO CREDITS: GIPHY.COM

4. Eating too much sugar might kill you #firstworldproblems

PM Lee did a free plug for brown rice, while naming and shaming our Big Gulp.

It turns out one in nine Singaporeans has diabetes, making it a national threat that needs to be solved quickly.

One of the biggest contributors to diabetes is white rice. The starchy white rice causes blood sugar levels to shoot up and heightens the risk of diabetes, especially when consumed daily.

Sugary drinks are also contributing to the problem, and soft drink producers in Singapore have been working with authorities to put less sugar into their drinks.

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No more asking for extra rice at the food court.
PHOTO CREDIT: GIPHY.COM

Fortunately, the solution is simple, switch to the healthier brown rice and exercise more. 

Which brings me to an all-important question I have for PM Lee: does sex count as exercise?

TEASER AND BANNER PHOTO CREDITS: YOUTH.SG/PRAISE YEO

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