Be right back, I'm going to be running away from my birthday!
You must be thinking that I am truly mad for hating my birthdays. Well, I can see why you think so, because birthdays are supposed to be "your" day.
Well, that isn't the case for me.
Here are five reasons why I hate celebrating my birthday.
1. Growing older sucks
I am sure I am not the only person in the world who finds it weird to say: "Congratulations! You are a year older and closer to your grave!"
Although I am not afraid of death, I do not like to be reminded about how the grim reaper is getting closer to collecting my soul.
"OMG LOOK AT YOUR CROW'S FEET!"
Furthermore, as you get older, you will have more responsibilities. Now that I am in my 20s, I have to think of higher education, finding a suitable career, finding a place to stay, and so on.
Being an adult is really rough y'all...
2. I am just so awkward
Normally, I am the person who makes the first move to plan my friend's birthdays. It's weird to know that as my birthday gets closer, my friends are gearing up to surprise me instead.
It is a sweet gesture, of course, and I love them for it. But I am just that type of person who becomes awkward when someone pays more attention to me than usual.
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Plus, I hate surprises. I never know how to react properly. Let's say your friends start singing 'Happy Birthday' in public. You're clearly mortified, but you can't tell them to shut up. You can't hide your embarrassment either.
You just end up looking constipated.
3. Something bad always has to happen
I don't know if it is a curse because every year, something bad always happens without fail.
One year, I went prawning with my family on my birthday. After catching about 20 prawns in three hours, I pulled out the net and found nothing in it…because there was a hole at the bottom.
Another year, my friends thought it would be wise to gate crash my place at 12am. Unfortunately, my neighbour's dog didn't seem to appreciate the strange loiterers' midnight surprise.
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! A KIT KAT ON MY BIRTHDAY?"
The dog's loud barks scared them so badly that they dropped the cake along my corridor. Not only did I not get to eat a scrumptious dessert, I had to clean it up...
On second thought, it was kinda funny though. LOL!
4. I hate planning my own celebrations
Friends and family love to ask me: "Where do you want to go? What do you want to eat?" What do you want to do?"
"WE SHOULD HAVE PLANNED AHEAD OF TIME…"
I know their hearts are in the right place, but helloooo! I am the birthday boy. I shouldn't have to be the one making decisions that must satisfy the majority.
I already do a lot of thinking on a daily basis when I am in school or work. I don't need the additional stress of thinking about what to do or what eat.
Call me ungrateful, but I just want to be filled with inner peace on my special day.
5. It always falls on weekends or exam dates
Even if I wanted to have a celebration for myself, my birthdays usually happen on weekends, during or nearing school exams – nine out of 10 times.
I never really get to do anything fun during these times because all my friends are likely to be busy.
"I GUESS I CAN JUST WATCH RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE
AND LAUGH MY SADNESS AWAY…"
20 years in, I think I have accepted that maybe it is just my fate.
I should just give up and binge-watch a Netflix series while eating my favourite chocolate cake in bed.